Handstands, arm candy, sweat... and the Home Secretary

Here’s a fun one. I was on my way to London to collect a Leadership award I had been nominated for, which I felt totally unqualified for, and was terrified about. I was convinced there had been a mix up and I would be turned away at the door! It was a prestigious awards event, and I was nervous as hell.

My plus-one was my husband, who is my biggest champion and best friend. We were on the train, and my nerves started getting the better of me. He was excited about it all, I was sweating through my jacket with worry.

I decided to have that “just be cool” conversation with him. You know the one. He is Canadian with the full accent. A lot of fun, he fills any room with his noisy presence (which I adore about him 99% of the time). This was a 1% kind of event where he needed to just be quiet, just be my arm candy, and behave.

It was going to be full of Police Chiefs and cabinet members. It was a big deal. The event was next door to Buckingham Palace. It was a big deal. The Canadian is also a very enthusiastic tourist every time we are in London, even after living here for 25 years. He was going to love this…

“Brad, be cool. Stay with me. If you have to talk to someone, do it quietly and calmly, like you are at a museum. And don't touch anything. Oh and easy on the canapes, they are not lunch” etc etc.

Right, right, yes totally. I’ll be the perfect arm candy said Brad. I’m on it, he said, checking his tie again.

We arrive, and it’s an amazing venue. They film ‘The Crown’ here, it's the most ornate building you could set foot in. Brad was in predictably in awe. “Oh my gosh, look at that massive painting! This is amazing!” Shhhhh Brad. Shhh. Right right. Yes. Got it.

Lancaster House. Ridiculous

We start talking to people, and Brad is doing well. Very cool and calm. He nips to the loo, and out of sight. Uh oh… 10 minutes pass, and I see him talking to the Chief of South Yorkshire Police. He looks animated and full of beans, she looks cool and calm, because she is a pro.

I floated over to stand with him -  “...but honestly now, what’s it really like being a proper Police Chief? Do you feel the pressure of it every day? Do you enjoy it? Do you still go out on patrol?” Oh God. This is not what you do at these things. To my surprise, she was really into the conversation. She was enjoying it. They were really talking properly about life and work pressure. I was too nervous for this… so I moved us politely on.

(arm candy Brad, arm candy. Right right, yes yes).

The awards happened, I sweated the whole time, I was called up to the stage, accepted my award graciously and then sat down. And I wondered if they get these things at vista print like the rest of us.

Defintiely Vistaprint

Phew. It’s over.

Nope. It's not over. Official photos. Darn.

We had to have photos taken with politicians. More sweating, fake smiling, dear God, please let it be over soon.

When my turn came, there was something wrong with the camera. Camera man had to fiddle with stuff. There I was, stood with the Home Secretary on my left, the Policing Minister on my right, and an awkward silence.

I started to nervously chat with the Policing Minister, who knew about the project I was working on. We got into it, and I wasn't looking the other way.

To my horror, I turn after a few minutes and see Brad talking to the Home Secretary, she looks upset, emotional, I can’t tell, but it’s not good. Nooooooooooooo.

Camera man is ready. We take the photo, it’s over. Thank God. Home Secretary then invited Brad up to join in for a picture. Here it is, look how happy he is (politicians redacted s they are important sorts of people)

Look at that smile…

It was over, we said our goodbyes, and got outside. Brad was smiling. I was panicking. Had he somehow managed to upset the Home Secretary? Brad... what happened...

“Well, she looked a bit bored, so I started to ask her about what it was like being the Home Secretary.”

Of course you did. What did she say?

“She told me it was hard. She went everywhere with security, and her family suffered all the time. She said it was an impossible job, because whatever she chose to do, someone would hate her for it. She said - people think it's glamorous and powerful, but they have no idea. I get a lot wrong, I try and get it right, but every decision is heavy.”

Ummm… what did you say back?

“I just said thank you. Thank you for still choosing to do it, for putting yourself in harm's way, for caring about your job and your country. For weighing up those decisions every day. That must be tough”

And she got a bit emotional?

“Yes. She said it had been years since anyone said thank you, and for a brief moment, she was just a person. And I thought about how everyone needs a thank you sometimes, even if you think you could do a better job. She is still trying to get it right. She still goes home at night to her kids, with armed police at her door day and night. That's tough eh?”

I didn’t know what to say. My anger dissolved, I felt like an idiot. He was so right, and I should have let him talk to everyone at the event. Brad is a force for good.

He has this knack of making people feel heard and appreciated. He does it effortlessly.

A sincere thank you means everything. It’s far more powerful than any shiny award, a big paycheck, or a promotion. It beats a bonus, or a mention in a staff town hall.

A sincere thank you is rare, and really and difficult to get right. Brad does it naturally, but most of us need to learn it. Its an art form, and it does wonders for your culture. I've tried to be better at it everywhere I go. It was awkward at first, but it starts to become second nature if you practice it.

The brilliant thing is, it doesn't have to come from the boss. It’s often more powerful from peers and colleagues. Every member of the team is responsible for its culture, from the cleaner to the CEO, and a real honest sincere thank you is pure gold for your team culture.

Here is a picture of Brad minutes afterwards. Being Brad.

Can you remember a time someone said a sincere thank you? Or you gave one out when you didn’t have to?

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